


Day 2: Peter Eats Christmas

by MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)



Series: 12 Days of Spideypool Christmas [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Jokes, Bottom Peter Parker, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Smut, Kitchen Sex, M/M, Silly Sex, Top Wade Wilson, gingerbread cookies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 07:56:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17158208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rons_pigwidgeon/pseuds/MsCaptainWinchester
Summary: Wade keeps trying to make food-related Christmas decorations, and Peter keeps eating them, because Peter's a hungry boy.





	Day 2: Peter Eats Christmas

Wade swayed into the living room with a giant bowl of popcorn, humming along to the Christmas music playing. He sat on the couch next to where Peter hung upside down and set the bowl on the table in front of them. “Alrighty, are we ready to make some garland?” he asked, clapping his hands and rubbing them together with a grin.

Peter held up the thread and needle Wade had already given him. “I’m not sure how to do it, but I’m ready.”

“That’s the spirit! Okay, so here’s what you do.” Wade demonstrated how to string the popcorn onto the thread and how to space them right.

Peter was paying attention, he was, but he was also eating the popcorn because popcorn. He tried stringing a piece on, but the needle slipped and broke the edge off. _Oh no, guess I’ll have to eat it_ , he thought and into his mouth the broken piece went. He tried again and managed to get the needle through the middle and pull it down the thread.

“I really didn’t think this was a thing people actually did to decorate their trees,” he said, starting to hit his stride with three whole kernels on the thread.

“How do you think it became a folk tradition?” Wade eyed him through his hands, a string of popcorn kernels nearly two feet long dangling between them. Peter resisted the urge to call him a showoff and ate more popcorn.

“I thought it was like a movie thing, you know? Like high schools with really specific cliques and wild house parties with like DJs and stuff."

“Didn’t your high school parties have DJs?”

“Yeah, but that was only Harry throwing his dad’s money around. Regular high school parties aren’t like that.”

“Wouldn’t know. I wasn’t in class enough to get invited to parties. Spent most of my time smoking behind the gym and trying to get pretty girls and guys to fuck in the broom closet. At least I think I did. I can’t actually remember any of it.”

“That sounds like you.” Peter nudged him with his elbow, smirking. There were now ten whole kernels on his thread, and he was just going to lift it up to show Wade when he got a pin in his hand.

“Stop eating all the craft supplies, you heathen. You can’t make garland without the popcorn.”

Peter pouted at him, shaking the sting out of his hand. He was tempted to stuff a whole handful of popcorn in his mouth out of spite, but resisted the urge. “We have more popcorn. I’m hungry.”

“You just ate an entire pizza. By yourself.”

“It was a small one...”

“It was an extra large! Any bigger and they bring it to you on a barge. Where do you even put it all?” Wade poked him in the side, making him swing a little on his web. He glowered.

“I have a high metabolism. You of all people should be able to appreciate a healthy appetite.”

“Oh I appreciate the appetite, baby boy, but I’d like to decorate this fucking tree before the New Year, too. It’s lonely.” He waved a hand towards the tree he’d stolen off a neighbor’s porch. Peter wouldn’t have known it was stolen, except that it was a sad Charlie Brown-looking thing with half its branches broken off or needless. When he asked about it, Wade had insisted he picked it out that way until Peter had glared him into admitting that maybe there’d been a reason it was standing on his neighbor’s front stoop without supervision.

At the moment, it was covered in hand-made ornaments that looked like they’d been made by a child. Crayon drawings of Wade’s favorite people—half the tree was pictures of Peter in various poses, most surrounded by hearts—cut out of stiff paper and strung on red yarn. There were multi-colored flashing lights that gave Peter a headache if he looked at them for too long. The star was a broken Wolverine doll that looked like it had been chewed on by a dog and run over a few times by a steamroller. Wade had painted fake blood all over the doll and stabbed the top branch of the tree through its stomach. It looked like a blood sacrifice. And soon there would be popcorn garland draped over it.

“Unless you eat all the popcorn, you glutton…” Wade muttered to himself. Peter ignored him and ate three more handfuls of popcorn before continuing to struggle with his strand-in-progress.

-

“Webs, are you serious right now? How are we supposed to build a house if you eat all the gingerbread?” Wade tried to grab at the gingerbread rectangle with a corner bitten into it, but Peter pulled away from him with a scowl.

“You said you made extra!”

“That was three pieces ago. Do you want to make a gingerbread house or not?”

“Can’t we just make more? I’m hungry.”

“We had tacos an hour ago.”

“Yeah? That was an hour ago.”

Wade pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed in deep and slow. “You— you know what, nevermind. Eat all the gingerbread you want, baby boy. It was a new recipe anyway. We’ll call this the test batch.” He leaned over the table to kiss Peter on the forehead.

Peter knew he was being indulged and offered Wade a bite of the square he’d already started in on in appreciation. Wade took a bite, his eyes locked on Peter’s. Watching his teeth sink into the dark brown cookie warmed his belly, his eyes drooping with the sudden arousal. “We uh… we could probably bake a new batch later,” he said, his voice deeper than it had been.

Wade’s eyes flashed molten. “Oh?”

Peter nodded, his eyes never leaving Wade’s. Wade broke off a piece of the gingerbread and held it to Peter’s lips, his eyes tracking the movement as Peter sucked it into his mouth and Wade’s fingers with it. He hummed at the taste, his tongue swirling over Wade’s thick fingers, big brown eyes full of mischief. “Delicious,” he said.

Wade dove for that perfect mouth, pulling him out of his chair by his hips and into Wade’s lap, where Peter squirmed, pressing his hard crotch into Wade’s as they kissed. Peter fumbled for Wade’s sweatpants, pushing the elastic out of the way so he could wrap his hand around Wade’s thick cock, moaning into Wade’s mouth as he did. Wade loved feeling his strong, thin fingers wrap around him, how serious he got when he was trying to make Wade come.

“You want me to ginger your bread, baby?” he asked, tugging at Peter’s hair.

“I want you to never make that terrible joke again,” Peter said, tugging sharply on Wade’s dick in punishment.

“You’re the one who got horny over gingerbread,” Wade reminded him as he dipped his hand into the back of Peter’s own sweats and pressed the pads of his fingers against his hole, just feeling the plush softness of his wrinkled skin for the moment. Peter squirmed harder under his hands, his own grip tightening to just the right side of too-painful.

“You know I can’t help myself when you feed me like that. It’s so hot with those big hands, and the look you give me…” Peter paused in his stroking, making a face. “Do I have a food kink I didn’t know about? Oh god, I do, don’t I?”

“You want me to feed you gingerbread while I fuck your tight ass and find out, baby?”

“Fuck yes,” Peter said, and kissed Wade so hard the chair tipped backwards, toppling the both of them onto the floor in a giggling mess. “Oh fuck, are you okay?” he asked, supporting himself with a hand on the tile next to Wade’s shoulder to check that Wade was physically fine. Wade was laughing too hard at the concerned look on his face to answer right away.

“Do you know how hot you are when you forget that strength of yours?” Wade stood up with him still in his arms and spread him out of the kitchen table, ignoring the mess of frosting and broken cookies underneath him. Peter was going to smell like gingerbread for a week, and Wade was going to spend that week licking him to death. Peter tugged him down for a fierce kiss, stealing his breath with the intensity of it. He eased Peter’s sweatpants down off his hips, letting Peter kick them off before reluctantly pulling away from their kiss to grab lube from one of the kitchen drawers.

“Why is there lube next to the honey?” Peter asked, sounding perturbed.

“So we can fuck in the kitchen without having to use olive oil like we’re in fucking Ancient Greece. Be grateful and eat your gingerbread or I’ll make you finger yourself.” It was an empty threat, and they both knew it, but Peter still took the square of gingerbread into his mouth that Wade offered him and pulled his knees up to his shoulders, humming happily as Wade quickly fingered him open.

“Okay, that’s enough. I’m full of gingerbread, now I want to be full of—”

“Sweet cream filling?” Wade suggested, grinning as he pulled his fingers from Peter’s ass and slicked up his cock with the leftover lube.

Peter groaned, making a pained face at the terrible joke. “No more bad jokes, or I’m gagging you with a frosting bag.”

“I’ll give you some frosting…”

Peter shoved a hand in his face to muffle him even as he giggled at the ridiculous banter. Wade grinned behind the hand as he pulled Peter to the very edge of the table by his hips and eased inside the warm, slick heat of him. The laughter quickly turned to moans. Peter scrambled his free hand above his head to grip the edge of the table for leverage and shoved back on Wade’s dick. His hand dropped from Wade’s mouth to wrap around his own cock, stroking along with Wade’s thrusts.

“Fuck, that’s good,” he moaned, tilting his head back to expose his long neck. Wade couldn’t resist leaning over him to lick and bite at the soft skin there, marking him.

“You’re so yummy looking, I could eat you up,” Wade told him, play-biting at his clavicle.

Peter made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. “Don’t quote Where the Wild Things Are at me while we’re having sex.”

“I did no such thing, you blasphemer. That quote is ‘We’ll eat you up, we love you so’. How dare you forget the words to one of the best children’s books of all time.”

“Quote Sendak at me one more time and this wild thing is walking out the door.”

“Fuck, I love you so much,” Wade gushed, kissing Peter hard even as he thrust into him even harder. Peter scrabbled for purchase against the onslaught on his prostate, his stubby fingernails digging into Wade’s shoulders deep enough to hurt as he moaned into Wade’s kiss.

They didn’t last long after that, both of them chasing each other to orgasm as they swapped messy kisses. Peter exploded first, painting Wade’s Golden Girls holiday t-shirt with cum. The tight squeeze of his ass shoved Wade over the cliff himself, and he slammed his hips against Peter’s to spill deep inside him.

“Knew I was gonna frost your cookies,” he said with a grin as he pulled away from Peter’s lips.

Peter giggled, pressing sloppy kisses to his cheeks. “You sure did, big guy. Wanna carry me to the shower now so I can wash off the cookie crumbs embedded in my ass?”

“With pleasure.” Wade scooped him up in his arms, still buried deep in Peter’s ass. Peter wrapped his arms and legs around him, glancing back at the ruined gingerbread house station they left behind.

“Can we call this the test fuck? I want to try another recipe later,” he asked, a mischievous grin taking over his face.

“And you accused me of making terrible joke. Sweet fuck, it’s a good thing you’re hot.”

Peter giggled for the entire trip to the shower and only stopped when Wade turned him to face the tiles and fucked him again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want writing updates from me, you can follow me on Twitter [@RonsPigwidgeon](https://twitter.com/RonsPigwidgeon) or Tumblr at [MsCaptainWinchester](https://mscaptainwinchester.tumblr.com/).
> 
> And if you'd like to come yell about Spideypool with me, join the 18+ Discord server I co-mod, [Isn't It Bromantic](https://discord.gg/cfZEbNv)!


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